When you have a horse for seven years and you've taken care of her, from her most intimate needs to scratching fly bites on her chest as she cranes her neck to guide your scratching spots...
When you've gotten out of bed at 2am to trudge out to the barn with a flashlight to see if the sub-zero temps and high winds that knocked out your power have her shivering...
When the barn roof got to the point of its last legs so that metal panels are banging loudly in a vicious pounding rain storm and you know she's run out into the middle of the field to brave it worse there rather than be in a scary loud barn where she could eat her food, and she's gotta be hungry as well as cold and scared, so you've set a clock every hour to suit up in rain gear and run dry hay out to her in the dark...
When you've hugged that horse because you're down, and you've stuck your nose right into her shoulder so you could flood your senses with the incredibly right smell of a horse...
When you've been rudely dumped out of the saddle during a spook, and that horse has run off by instinct, but stops and turns around, ears cocked forward, her expressive eyes showing worry and concern as she looks for you to stand up out of the the tall grass...
But then also when that horse gets scared and is just on the verge of turning to flight when the sound of your voice saying "it's o-kaaaaay, it's o-kaaaay" makes her stand still and her ears relax...
When you take that horse across country and for 3 days each way, and your porta potty in the trailer is within reach of her plopping a glop of gooey half masticated hay on the top of your head as you squat and pee... and then she does it...
And also when you throw down a tarp in a stall neighboring hers at a horse motel en route because it's too late to pitch a tent, and you fall asleep to the sound of each other's breathing...
And finally, when you take that horse into the trails alone and it's just the two of you, and you suddenly feel things change so that you know your imperceivable impressions are being read loud and clear, and you become aware that there is some unexplainable line of silent communication that's come about between you and her...
You get to where you really, really love that horse.
I got this horse, my first, at my age 63, her age 18 and that makes us peers. We had many great times together, and I know she did too because horses have ways of telling you that. When I decided that prudence and common sense dictated it was time for me to hang up my reins, that left her standing around with nothing to do, and as a lone horse, that's not a good thing. For that reason, I tried to re-home my equine buddy twice in the last 6 months. No fault of hers that it didn't work out, I repo'd her the first time because I had underrated red flags (or else they just weren't there then as they became so in retrospect). The people looked good. They weren't. Stupid decisions, lots of lies and overuse of her without conditioning almost lamed out one very good horse, and though I had to walk her out of there in pouring down rain and winds for 3 blocks to get her into temporary housing, then pay dearly to have her trailered back home, I went over there and took her back. The second rehoming I did on a trial basis and nothing wrong with new owner OR the place, but this horse is a long way from retirement and she was too hot for the level of student she was looking to accommodate. From my buddy's standpoint, it was just too busy of a lesson barn. A good lesson barn where horses don't get overused and get very well cared for, but it just wasn't right for someone who's been on her own, in a free run-in. She wasn't happy there, and you could see it in her eyes. I didn't think she'd ever have been happy there. Back home again.
I believe I've finally found the perfect place for her. There are 3 other horses in residence, a Fjord gelding, a Hafflinger mare and a little spit of a thing, a Mini. They are all sane, sound and friendly. There's a calm and contented energy among them. My buddy has not lived with other horses and I wasn't sure she'd do well at fitting into a herd after so long as a solo, but under the circumstances which follow in more detail, the herd instinct can become more valuable to a horse than what they're used to, just because they are. It's how they live in the wild.
This is a very nice couple here in town. They have four children, one of whom is taking riding lessons. Mom rides, too. Dad, once in a while, and he's a secure male, not one who likes to show how big he is by needlessly jerking around a 1200 pound animal. They have 100 acres. Mom's a feminine little spit of a thing but she does all the fencing herself, from digging post holes to stringing it, and the entire place has perimeter fencing. In the morning, the horses are given their grain. They are then led out "to pasture." And this is the most natural environment I've ever seen anywhere near here. They are simply turned loose into hay fields where one field leads into another, into another. Plenty of nooks and crannies with shade trees are spotted around here and there throughout these meadows. The horses all stay together, but they migrate as a herd from one grazing area to another, freely, at will. Just like they do in the wild. They will lie down and nap, and roll. They are secure. They can even go into the woods part way to the outer fencing. It is completely ideal.
One or more of them gets ridden a couple of times a week, usually for an hour or so. Other than that, they get to be horses. At night, Mom and Dad or one of the kids go out into the hayfields and find them. They come when called or are even waiting by the gate because they know the routine, and she leads them back into the barn/paddock area near the house, where they get grained and retired for the night. And the next morning, repeat. It's predictable, it's safe, and it's natural. Since she rides on property only, and ice isn't an issue there like it is in the paddock here, she keeps them barefoot, unshod, the very best scenario.
My buddy has only been there for a few days, but I've been in touch with "mom" at least once a day and she reports that all signs are good. She's blending in, and from all appearances (and there are equine-specific signs), she's showing every indication of being one very happy horse.
I will know for sure that all's well and permanent when I feel it is. It probably already is, but I just need time to be sure myself. They're right here in town, I can go by and see her, and the new owner said that if I want to come over and go riding with her, she'd love to. I see nothing that appears unworkable about this. All "vibes" are good, and the signs I'm looking for appear to be happening. The squeeling when another horse got too close upon first introduction was very short lived. It only happened two or three times when they were first integrated, and within a couple of hours, she tolerated the gelding co-grazing on her (then separate) hay pile. Out in the pasture, the first night after a full day out there, she followed the other horses when they came in for the night. She hasn't shown neck over neck bonding yet, but this is too soon for that and it might happen out in the fields before it gets seen, or not. But there's no fighting and no signs of it. While I haven't been there to get impressions of her in pasture residence yet, from the sound of it she's putting out a very peaceful, content appearing energy. I will rest finally sure when I know that she's willing to lie down (a vulnerable proposition for a horse, and one of the last signs to show that she feels secure). But I strongly suspect that once she's had a chance to see the other personalities in action over a period of time, she'll trust them to stand sentry, and they'll trust her when it's her turn.
If this continues to be as it sounds like it's headed to being, then I can say if I were to design the absolute perfect rehoming for this animal, I wouldn't have even ventured to ponder anything this perfect.
UPDATE: It's been over 3 weeks. She's fit in. I went over to visit her after 10 days and just in that time, her muscle tone went from good to solid. She's getting exercise just naturally during the day with the other horses, and she shows every sign of being thrilled to get tacked up and ridden--one of the many better-than-the-last of surprises she gives her human companions as they get to know her. (Not too many horses like her.)
So, beautiful, sensitive On Cloud Nine, finally and long coming for it to be just right, it's still very weird not to hear you nicker and trot in when you see me and I think it always will be, but this is the best gift I could have given you.
Run with your mane in the wind, old friend...
3 comments:
Good work Carol.
WOW! Powerful!You make me laugh in Susanna Ic's group and make me cry in your blog. I think your hard work paid off and that your girl is happy. Thank you for sharing.
Jackie (martiniiis on Ravelry)
Just amazing work. *wiping a tear*
I still cannot believe that I have not grown up to be a "Horse Woman".
When I was an adolescent and my early teens, I worked at three local equestrian centers in exchange for lessons. I would walk and cool the horses that the rich girls rode during the lesson we all took part in, comb them all down, wipe down all their tack, and blanket them and put them in their stalls for the night. Picked a lot of stones out of many rings. The owners often wanted me to show their horses, and I had the "horse bug" really bad....dreamed of being an olympic jumper. But there comes a time where you either own a horse and really get in to it---or you dont. My family could never afford it so we didn't. It has been probably 25 years since I have been on a horse. I am afraid now that if I got on, I would not be able to "find my leg" again.
It is stories like yours, that remind me that it is not too late....that just maybe someday....
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